Monday, December 12, 2005

Pepper spray. Up my nose. Intentionally.

You know how spicy food can tend to make your nose run? And people joke that their chili will "clear out your sinuses?"

Well, a self-defense instructor with chronic sinus-related migraine headaches discovered, during a pepper-spray demonstration, that it works even better if you take the spicy ingredients directly up your nose.

He now markets a product that falls somewhere between these extremes: the "Sinus Buster." This nasal spray contains natural Capsicum pepper, and is said to "relieve the congestion, painful swelling, and headaches associated with chronic sinus problems."

What a great country!

The Sinus Buster website includes this "Friendly Warning":
As soon as you use The SINUS BUSTER, you’ll notice it’s like no other nasal spray. Since the active ingredient is capsicum, first time users will experience an exhilarating bite that instantly releases the sinus busting power of the pepper.

Exhilarating, you say? Awesome!

My bottle of Sinus Buster arrived in the mail today.

I eagerly opened it up, read the Friendly Warning reprinted in the directions, and, as instructed, took a deep sniff up each side of my nose.

Yes, I experienced an "exhilarating bite". And... exciting nose running! Thrilling eye watering! Stimulating sneezing! My eyes took on a refreshing red tint!

It was, as advertised, a dramatic and instantaneous reaction. And honestly, it wasn't painful, just... extreme. Subsequent applications through the evening--to achieve the prescribed 3 squirts in each side--did become slightly easier to take. I can believe the claim that the "bite" becomes old hat with prolonged use.

Regular use is also promised to have the effect of heading off nasal allergy symptoms and sinus infections. I'm going to put Sinus Buster to the test, and mace my own face daily.

All right! Who's with me?